New Website

My new site is up and running. It's called "Beyond China's Single Story." I invite you to check it out: http://www.leslieforman.com/

Happy New Year!
Leslie

I Love This Quote!

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." -- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

(via A Cup of Jo)

I posted this as my gChat status for a while, and many people wrote to me saying they loved it! So here it is again. I feel like it should live on this blog. Enjoy!

You must not cry…

This post is from Rachael Brugger, who lives in Cambodia. Her blog is One UNBELIEVABLE Cambodian Adventure!, where she originally published this post. It describes her initial experience visiting what remains of the Cambodian genocide under the Khmer Rouge.

Also, I'd like to give a quick personal introduction. The movie "The Killing Fields" came out shortly after I was born in 1984. The very first time my parents left me with a babysitter was when they went to see this movie. Sydney Schanberg's New York Times Magazine article about his relationship with his Cambodian friend and photographer Dith Pran had stuck in their minds for the previous few years. My freshman year in high school, one of our assignments was to analyze the context and accuracy of a historical movie. I wrote about "The Killing Fields." I think her post gives a great overview of this traumatic period. ~Leslie

Moving a bit from my what can be considered humorous escapades in adjusting to Cambodian life, I want to touch on a little bit about the country itself. I'm not a history buff, so I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the things that have plagued Cambodia's past, but I hope to provide some sort of insight to people who might be just as naive as I was about the Cambodian genocide.

My explorations today were both highly educational and emotionally draining. I visited one of the many killing fields scattered around the country as well as S-21, a suburban school that the Khmer Rouge (think of them as the Cambodian Nazis) turned into a prison used for torturing and murdering those they arrested for opposing Ankar. The things I saw today were nauseating -- to think that humans are capable of such sadistic actions. And I think it's unfortunate how many Americans are ignorant about this tiny nation that suffered one of the most brutal examples of human cruelty the world has ever seen.

When I first entered the grounds of Tuol Sleng, the genocide museum set up at the S-21 site, it didn't appear out of the ordinary. Located on a street inside the city, it has a campus of three three-story buildings and courtyards with trees and benches. It looks like a typical Cambodian school.



The first thing that really hit me as I began walking through, was a sign that was posted depicting the rules of the prison. Rule No. 6 read:

"While getting lashes or electrification, you must not cry at all."

It wasn't the fact that they were beating or electrocuting people that struck me, as terrible as those things are. It was the "you must not cry" that really sent a chill down my spine. How inhuman. They wanted these prisoners to move and act like little zombies, like puppets. Like people without dignity or souls.

Those words rung through my head as I walked through the classrooms of Building 1 that were transformed into prison chambers. Each room had a bed where victims were chained and tortured. Some of the rooms still had stains on the floor from blood and the museum placed a photograph in each room showing an abused victims.



Like the Nazis, the Khmer Rouge expertly documented their victims. Building 2 contained an exhibit displaying many of the mug shots of the prisoners. According to a KR report found at Tuol Sleng, more than 10,000 foreign and Cambodian adults and 2,000 children were held at S-21 between 1975 and 1978. Only 7 survived.



Building 3 held some of the actual torture devices used in the prison and outside stood children's exercise equipment, which was used to hang prisoners by their arms until they passed out, whereupon they'd be dipped head first into cold, mucky water so quickly revived, only to have the process repeated. These people were beaten, shot and other things I don't even care to write or think about.

As I solemnly proceeded to the Killing Field located just outside Phnom Penh, I couldn't help but feel tears for the pain these people endured, and yet they had to endure it without tears.



At the field, several mass graves, which once contained the remnants of hundreds of murdered people, surround a monument memorial dedicated to the deceased. Inside the memorial are the skulls of the victims. While display might seem grotesque and unsanctified to those of you reading this, it is an even more controversial issue for the Buddhist Cambodians who feel the remains should not be enclosed in a glass case and should be cremated so that the souls can properly move about, perhaps in preparation for the next reincarnation.



But the display, controversial as it is, burdened me and I'm sure the other visitors as well. To me, it serves not only as a reminder of what happened in Cambodia, but what happened in Eastern Europe and what is happening today in Africa.

Today the effects of the genocide are still visible throughout the country. The people are uneducated. The majority of adults, including those holding government positions, process information at the level of a fifth-grader, and the younger generation, while they are going to college, aren't receiving a degree of much value. People live in poverty, and the poor agricultural technology only contributes to this. And you will hear people say over and over that the government is corrupt. I'm not sure what this means, exactly, but it seems as though moral is low and people have little hope of a better future.

Click here to see Rachael's colorful photos of these survivors' artwork.

Stories from Hamburg, Hong Kong, Berlin, and Uganda

Here are some of my favorite articles and podcasts about working overseas in Hamburg, Hong Kong, Berlin, and Uganda. I see some common themes in these four pieces, which match my own experiences in China.

- Being an outsider makes you a "big fish in a small pond" (or at least a bigger one than you'd be if you'd stayed home!)
- Living in a place with a low cost of living gives you much more flexibility in terms of work.
- As a foreigner, you have more responsibility than a local would at the same level. This can help you to build a wide range of skills.
- Being far from home connects you to people incredibly quickly. It's amazing how well I've gotten to know new friends in our first or second meeting. I think this is also true in a professional context.

OK, I'll let the pieces speak for themselves.

1. Allie Osmar writes a blog called The Creative Career, which gives advice for young people entering public relations and marketing. She has two podcasts about overseas opportunities.

- Finding Opportunities to Work Abroad is a 9-minute podcast interview with Justin Sikora, who works in public relations for Edelman in Chicago. He began in Edelman's Chicago office, and then a year later was transferred to Hamburg, Germany, for a year. It was his first experience on overseas soil. He recommends learning the language, finding a company that fosters an atmosphere of growth, and both asking for and earning this opportunity.

- Fast-Track Your Career Success by Going Abroad is an excellent 15-minute podcast interview with Stacie Nevadomski Berdan, one of the authors of the book Get Ahead By Going Abroad. She worked in marketing communications in Hong Kong for three years, and then interviewed 200 other women about their experiences working abroad for her book. She explains how working globally can skyrocket a woman's career. Allie has posted detailed notes from this interview here.

2. On the New York Times' fabulous but now-defunct Shifting Careers blog, recent Harvard graduate Rachel Nolan wrote a vivid and persuasive post about how moving to Berlin helped launch her journalism career. It begins:

A lot of my friends thought I was crazy when I moved to Berlin after graduating from college last year to try to make my way as a freelance journalist. They had teaching gigs, spots in graduate school or banking contracts with the likes of Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs. Some of these jobs turned out to be secure. But if nothing else, the financial crisis provides yet another reason for young people to move abroad. We have less to lose.

At the time, I had a few contacts and German language skills that were not quite good enough to conduct an interview. If I failed to publish a single story, I reasoned, I’d find another way to support myself, enjoy the non-career-related benefits of living abroad and come home after a year. But now I have a portfolio of professional clips, solid German, a chance to travel — and a fairly good idea that moving to Berlin sped up the process of becoming a journalist.

Click here to read the rest.

3. Jacob Elster wrote a somewhat similar post on Change.org's Social Entrepreneurship blog. Jacob is the founder of Crop to Cup, a Fair Trade coffee company which uses technology to reduce the distance between coffee farmers and consumers. His story begins:

You've done sixteen years of school, your ACT, your SAT, your etc.; you have been preparing your whole life for this one question.......good thing it's multiple choice.

• Q 1] What are you going to do when you graduate?
  • Option one, get a job.
  • Option two, go back to school.

So what's it going to be? Well, let's think about it.

He then explains how he decided against both of those options and...

As such, after graduation I founded a technology and leadership capacity building nonprofit. Called DevelopNET Iganga, this nonprofit led me to live and work in Africa where I saw how something as free as information can help to bridge the logistical barriers keep small farmers isolated from the market and stuck in a cycle of poverty. I took this lesson with me when I began working with coffee farmers, and now, five years later, I help Crop to Cup Coffee Company to source coffee, and information, directly from the farmers themselves.

I'm not sure what this story's worth, as I'm not sure how it will end. However, I did find it refreshing to know that one can put their confidence in themselves, and themselves in a position where life can happen, and that the rest sort of follows.

I highly recommend that you read the whole thing. It's part of a series called Entrepreneurs on the Verge.

Advice from Career Realism: Don't Go Away Without Thinking About Career First

Interesting advice from Career Realism, part of a Top 10 list entitled "Can You Handle The Truth?":

TIP #3: DON’T road trip, backpack or ‘take a year off’ without thinking about your career first. Those who delay to play, often pay!

As graduation approaches, many students feel the pressure of career and think, “I’ve done what’s expected of me and now I deserve to do something for myself.” However, rewarding yourself without at least organizing your plans for career before you go can make embarking on a job search when you return more difficult. Here are some stats to consider: Landing an entry-level job after school (from start to finish) averages at least two months. The process of finding the job opportunity, going on the interviews, receiving and accepting the job offer, and then starting the job, all take time. It is easier to manage this process when you are close to resources (i.e. campus career center) and a network of peers who are in the midst of finding work too. All too often, college grads put off their career homework until after they’re done having fun. They return home and suddenly find themselves alone and without the support of their friends and school to help them. Add in the potential pressure of parents over your shoulder, inquiring about your progress, and looking for a job can become very overwhelming. I once had an angry father call me to inquire about my services for his son because, in his own words, “My son just got back from a 7-month road trip of fun only for me to find out he has no idea of what he wants to do or how to find a job. What did I spent $80K on a college education for?!?!” This father-son relationship was quite strained, and much of my time coaching this new college grad was spent trying to get him to stop beating himself up for not taking responsibility for his future. Don’t get stuck in this position. You must consider the consequences of your actions.

I highly recommend reading the rest of the list. My take: I think it's important to approach this sort of trip as part of your "career story" and be sure to learn something that will give people reasons to hire you. I think this can take many forms, such as communication abilities, language skills, and quick learning, and it's important to weave them together in a compelling way.

When I came home after 18 months in China I had major reverse culture shock, the kind that had me missing China's crowds so much that I would go to the supermarket with nothing to buy! But I had done several kinds of work while overseas (teaching, writing, planning, consulting) that were relevant to working in the US. I also ended up working for someone who said that moving to France after college was the best decision she ever made.

P.S. Delaying the Real World describes this transition in more detail.

Saudades do Brasil: Top 10 Ways To Stay Sane!

My dad studied in Brazil when he was in high school, and when I was young every single time we met a Brazilian (in a restaurant, store, meeting, etc.) he would start speaking Portuguese. The listener was always charmed with this, but frequently responded in English! Anyways, I finally had the opportunity to visit Brazil in 2005, between my semesters in Chile. I had an absolutely amazing time, which I can describe in another post. Tonight, while searching for inspiration for this blog, I came across Adventures of a Gringa in Rio, Rachel Glickhouse's detailed and inspiring chronicle of her experiences teaching dance and living it up in Brazil. She graciously gave me permission to reprint this entry, which originally appeared here. Thanks Rachel! ~Leslie

Top Ten Ways To Stay Sane After You Graduate From College (Brazilian Style)

10. Drink up. Buy yourself some limes, cachaça and sugar, get some ice, and make yourself a caipirinha at the end of a long day of invoices and data entry.

9. Sign up for a dance class: exercise produces endorphins, which helps you forget about what an ass your boss is. But don't forget about your own ass--you can even take a Brazilian exercise class that focuses exclusively on the bumbum, like Leandro Caravalho's famed "Brazilian Butt Lift" class at several gyms in NYC. Samba is an excellent work-out, too.

8. Join a cause. Because how many entry-level jobs are THAT fulfilling? Volunteer in your hometown, or find an NGO worth supporting abroad, like say, in Brazil!

7. Take a hot shower with some exotic aromatic soap. Passion fruit or acerola? Cupaçu or guaraná? Soothing Amazon fruits will wash away your memories of screaming devil children.

6. Learn a new language. If you've studied any Romance language before, Portuguese is a logical and fun choice. Plus, language classes help you pretend you're still in college and help you meet new people. Vamos aprender falar português?

5. Listen to extremely upbeat music. I recommend axé. You will either love it, bop your head wildly and forget that you spent the whole morning filing, or you'll think it's absolutely ridiculous and just laugh and laugh and forget you spent the whole morning filing. A good place to start is with some Ivete and with some Daniela Mercury.

4. Go find an all-you-can-eat meat restaurant. It will really help you forget that tomorrow you have to enter a classroom filled with psychotic, back-talking children. Brazilians do churrascarias right, in New York and everywhere else.

3. Get some sun. If you're lucky enough to be near a beach, then well, you're pretty lucky. If not, take a vacation--stat! I know a good place. Or crank the heat in your apartment, turn the lights up, and put on some bossa nova.

2. Find a new social circle. It helps to mix it up a bit after you're used to your college friends. Brazilians are extremely friendly and sociable--go find some!

1. Move abroad!!! And why not to Brazil?

Cambodia-Bound: If You're Not Growing, You're Dying

This post is from Nisha Chittal. A senior at the University of Illinois, she works on business development for AIESEC, the world's largest student association, and serves as Associate Editor for CitizenJanePolitics.com. Her blog is Politicoholic. I originally read this post here on Brazen Careerist. Welcome, Nisha! ~Leslie

That is how I made my first ever big post-college career decision this week: by reminding myself of a friend who told me once: “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”

Well, I started my job hunt. I looked at some really interesting jobs with the federal government, a couple awesome think tanks, a couple political magazines that I love. I started applying for some, but still had this nagging sense of anxiety about the whole thing.

Learning to embrace uncertainty and instability is probably one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn the last few months. Because the one thing no one tells you about graduating from college is that it requires this whole shift in your mindset of the last 15 years: there’s no straight, narrow, certain path anymore. Your whole life is sort of open and uncertain until you make the conscious decision to do something that makes your life more stable (get married, pick a more permanent job, buy your first home…).

And that creates a comfort zone. Things are stable(r). You know where you’re going, which can be great for some people. Probably not for me though.

While I was feeling all this pressure to keep up with my friends and their Big 4 interviews and career fairs and whatever, I had the exciting realization that I have the whole world at my feet and all this time for my own adventures, to really do what I love. It doesn’t have to be scary to have your life seem uncertain; it can be really exciting.

So that is why I stopped my job hunt for now, stopped scouring job ads every day and agonizing over cover letters — for now at least.

Because in June, I am thrilled to be moving to Cambodia. And I’m putting my ass on the line for a startup NGO that I will be working with for 4 months.

(If you want to hear something really entertaining, you should ask me what happened when I called up my parents and told them my decision. All they heard were the words “startup,” “NGO,” and “cambodia.” Three things that make them think: our daughter is crazy. When people tell me I am crazy though — which happens often– I usually take that as a good sign.)

There’s nothing at all stable about it. I am going to pack two suitcases and move to what my parents consider a “third-world” country. There’s definitely nothing stable about working for an NGO still in its first year, that is in desperate need of revenue. I’ve read enough of other people’s cash-strapped startup tales to know that this is a risky decision — but also one I know I won’t regret. Because at the end of the day, I am so excited and passionate about the decision I’ve made. And if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, why even bother?

I don’t really want stable, I want to live on the edge. I want to take risks with my life, and turn them into huge learning opportunities. I definitely don’t want to look back some day and regret that I didn’t do something crazy when I had the chance.

If you’ve established a comfort zone, it’s easy to just chill there. It’s fun, kind of. But boring. So get out of it — because if you stay there, you’re not growing, you’re dying. If you’re hanging out with the same people, doing the same routine every day — do something new. Do something crazy. Do it because you know you will grow from it, not just for the sake of your resume. And if you don’t want to grow, something is wrong with you.

So yeah, my wonderful, good, stable parents are worried because they don’t know where I’ll end up. And they definitely think that I am “lost” on my way to my real career.

But I have to say… eff destinations. I’m in it for the journey.